Career setback? Here’s an exercise I use with clients to turn failure into fuel.
I call it the “AS IFs Exercise.”
It’s simple — but surprisingly powerful.
Especially when you’ve been knocked back by a rejection, failed pitch, or painful career disappointment.
Try these 3 mental shifts:
1. Treat the setback as if it’s all your own doing.
Yes, we’re going there. Right into the uncomfortable belly of self-blame and self-recrimination. Why?
Because this thought experiment helps you move from taking it personally… to taking personal responsibility.
List out every reason you might have contributed to the setback:
- Weak strategy?
- Poor performance?
- Overestimation of your fit or skills?
- Long-term habits that hold you back?
- Blind spots you’ve ignored?
You’re not looking for final judgments — just patterns worth exploring.
Often, this alone starts to take the sting out of “unfairness” and sets you up to reboot stronger.
2. Treat the setback as if it’s a blessing in disguise.
This one triggers people. It feels like toxic positivity. But hear me out.
Again and again, I see this:
A rejection or failure cracks something open — forcing people to confront what wasn’t working.
Ask yourself:
- If I’d landed that job… would it have really fulfilled me? Or left me stuck in a new way?
- What would need to happen for me to look back in 5 years and say “Thank goodness I didn’t get that!”
- Is this telling me to raise my game? Or maybe… to change the game altogether?
The Beatles’ early singles flopped in the US. If they’d broken through sooner, who knows — maybe the timing would have killed their momentum. Instead, they hit just right in 1964.
3. Treat the setback as if it means nothing at all.
Sometimes… you just missed the bus.
No deeper meaning. No life lesson. Just bad timing or factors beyond your control.
Ask:
- What if this has nothing to do with me?
- What if they already had an internal hire in mind?
- What if reading too much into this would steer me off course?
Each AS IF offers part of the truth.
Do them together — and be searingly honest.
Watch for that moment when your gut says: “Yes — this changes how I see it.”
At Clearview, most people come to us not because they’re flying high — but because they’re dealing with disappointment.
If you’re struggling after a career setback, let’s talk.
Who knows?
This might be the thing that pushes you further than you’ve ever been before.
Jane Downes
Founder, Clearview Coaching Group
