When It’s Not You: Navigating Career Unhappiness
Imagine this: an email marked “Urgent!” sent to you at ten to midnight from your boss, leaving you so stressed that you can’t get a good night’s sleep. The next morning, you arrive at work and are greeted with the words, “It is not good enough that you only got back to my message at 8:40 this morning.”
Or perhaps your job has suddenly expanded to include covering both European and North American clients, with zero consideration for the havoc this timezone crunch wreaks on your schedule and family life.
Or there’s that constant feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach as you head into work each day. You love the actual work part of your job, but your manager seems to get a kick out of playing ‘Gotcha’ with you.
And then there’s the culture—a toxic environment where “Our way or the highway” is the unofficial mantra, even as the company outwardly preaches about respect and wellbeing.
The Reality of Unhealthy Workplaces
As a long-time advocate of taking ownership of the causes and aggravators of career unhappiness, I’m a firm believer in addressing personal responsibility in these situations. But let’s face it: sometimes you are not the problem.
In recent years, we’ve seen the rise of employers who relentlessly tighten the screws on their employees, especially in certain sectors. I’ve worked with many employers and managers, and I can confidently say that good employers know better than to mistreat their teams. They focus on long-term relationships, not short-term boot-camps designed to maximize efficiency at the expense of employee wellbeing.
Great employers understand that workplace dynamism requires employee insight and buy-in, and they’re not under the illusion that a high salary can offset stress and exploitation.
So, if you find yourself in the kind of unhappy situation described above, what should you do?
Diagnose the Problem
My advice remains the same: diagnose the root cause of the issue. Once you’ve identified it, assess whether it’s something you can change. If you’re sure you can’t shift the unhappy dynamic, then find the action that will improve your situation.
But—be careful of making hasty generalizations.
Don’t Jump to “I Hate My Job”
One of the most common thoughts I encounter from unhappy employees is, “I hate my job.”
But before you act on that feeling, take a step back. What exactly is it about the job that isn’t working for you? Is it the role itself, or the experience of that role within this specific organization or department?
This is an important distinction, and one that can help you avoid making a major mistake. More times than I can count, clients have recognized that the real issue was not the role but the context in which they were performing it. Armed with this insight, many people have found a way out—not by quitting their career path but by switching to a different role in a different company or department that requires the same skills.
Text vs. Context
Think of it like this: the problem may not lie with the text (the role itself), but with the context (the organization or department).
If you’re in a toxic environment, you may not need to rewrite your career or abandon your goals altogether. You might just need to change the environment you’re working in, without completely starting over. Find a new context that allows your role to flourish and be fulfilling.
This approach allows you to navigate through challenging circumstances without abandoning your career trajectory, ensuring that you don’t lose sight of what really matters.
